Gisa von Kowitz

Writing & Photography


(London 1994–2004)

Music for me

a candle light
in the middle of the night
music in the backround
a little peace I have found
detached from the outside world
into the sheets I’ve curled

the songs that always touch my heart
make me feel like a part
of complete happiness
and I know I couldn’t take less

the strongest person I feel
has nothing much to conseal
let them see into the depths of my soul
I have nothing to fear because I’m whole
I let the music play only for me
what a beautiful place to be

A moments thought

There is a smile somewhere
I haven’t seen in a while

There is laughter where
I haven’t been in a while

There are tears on my face
But I’m not sure why

Chasing your dream

When the dreams finish
and reality wakes up
but the feeling’s not diminished
just widened the gap

When people remind you
of your less perfect side
will you think about it too
or ignore it with pride?

When you think you’re on your way
or that you’ll never get there
maybe you should stay
or try it elsewhere

When you desperately believe
but no one else can see
how long ‘til you retrieve
but can you give up your way to be?

Just words

the love there once was
faded away
the friendship was lost
on the way
you say there is no anger
you say it’s in the past
a combination of simple words
it still hurts


Unrest lies upon me lately in this realm
Longing for a place that is calm
A feeling that I need to go
to escape this lingering low

Yet I`m afraid to take that step
Remembering hostility I`ve met
Afraid of what I`ll leave behind
Afraid of what `will find

Things don`t turn out the way you want them to
Afraid to find this saying to be true
A step into reality
The Place I avoided to be
Terrified to find the world still the same
Going back from whence I came


think of me
the voices say
think of me and be still
think of me and understand
think of me and let go
and peace you shall find

think of me
a feeling says
think of me and stop crying
think of me and you will find me
think of me and it will pass
and happiness you shall find

think of me
I once read
think of me and you will feel comfort
think of me and I live
think of me and I am
think of me and nothing else
think of me and kill the ignorant!

Waiting for that time

There are times when I miss you
There are times that I don’t
Sometimes I want to kiss you
And then I know that I won’t

There are times when I’m lonely
There are times when I’m strong
Sometimes you are the only
And sometimes I am wrong

There are times when I hate you
There are times when I weep
Sometimes I’m sure I’ll wait for you
But maybe it is not that deep

There are times when I want you
There are times I want to leave
But you’re still the one I run to
 Until the day you will leave

There are times when you are sad
 And I’m always by your side
There are times when you are mad
And I am still by your side

There are times when I doubt
There are times when I see
The time when you will shout
Together for eternity


This is to Philip from whom I learned so much at that time.



The pain from the past
Don’t want the memories to last
A smell, a sound, the wind in the street
A cry of loneliness that doesn’t meet
No echo, no reply
Invisible people passing by

The unhappiness in the air
Bitterness and anger everywhere
Autumn leaves like teardrops falling from the trees
From the wind that that no one sees
Fake smiles here and there
And life just isn’t fair

The most beautiful beach they said
But I don’t want to leave my bed
Don’t want to face those people again
Looking for warmth in strange men
The worst years of my life
But at least I learnt to drive


Have you ever looked at a man
in the street and wondered what happened?
When did his luck change?
Then you look around you…
Your friends, you colleagues
No one is born a miserable old git!

Have you ever looked at an old woman in a pub
and wondered what happened?
When did they first call her a drunk?
Then you look around you…
Your friends, your colleagues
Are some just destined to loose?

Have you ever sat in a bar with your colleagues
and wondered why don’t they stop?
When is it teenage oats sewing
and when is it too often too much?

You’re 25 and you look around
When should you ask them why?
When do you walk away?

Leaving East Germany

When the train leaves the station,
I’m going back to a foreign nation.
It’s not with tears or sorrow
because I think of tomorrow.

“I have to look ahead!
Or I might as well be dead.”

Did you ever call two worlds your own?
You would know in between you’re very alone.
It took years of getting used to…
Fighting to not feel blue.

The train is moving again.
Most buildings haven’t changed since then.
They’re old and falling apart
and people know nothing about art.

To me this land has a beauty.
And there is no feeling of duty.
Here I don’t have to think.
This train is the only link.

And when I’m on the plane…
Nobody will no my name.

Past taken

There was a house I lived in until I was nine
It burned down with all things of mine
It had been there for eighty years
and we all shed many tears

A new one we build on the same spot
an I do love it a lot
but there’s always this fear
that this too will disapear

We are all expected to leave our childhood behind
but then my heart aches when I find
a tree that was always there
like the days I still had my little teddy bear
It too was taken away from me
I have no toys left from when I was three

There is really not much to remind me
a few photographs are the only memory
even the state no longer exists
and people have turned into racists
and everytime I returned
with new experiences I learned
it drives me further away
even if I just want to stay

But I’m a different person now
and I can no longer bow
the only thing that unites me with them
are the memories from back then


Mummy lights a cigarette
Daddy drinks his beer
Sit Down! Sit Still! Shut up!
Adults want to talk!
Innocent faces looking through smoke
Oh beautiful country side passing by
Inside touching lives
as smoke gets in my eyes

Little blond angels in your hands
See them grow up to be like you, look like you
The’ll smoke, They’ll drink, They’ll talk like you
Innocence, where have you gone?
Lost in swear words, lost in smoke
Sun shines through trees passing by
They never look outside

I want to scream: Don’t you see?
Maybe your’re too busy talking
maybe you don’t know any other way
because we all were angels once
Innocence gets lost along the way
your hand feels empty, something’s missing
so you light another cigarette
when you could be taking your baby’s hand

Fog fills the woods passing by
as foggy as it is inside


I woke up this morning
Sunlight shone through the window
I went into the kitchen
And as I was toasting my bread
I had this feeling of a place I wanted to go

It’s a place that is quiet
A place where I always find love
It’s a place that’s familiar and comfortable
It’s the place that clears my mind
The place where I find peace

The choices I made
Priorities, there is no other way
The things I have to do
Compromise, to make my dreams come true

At the end of the day
That’s when I don’t want to stay
As the sun slowly disappears
This mood of sadness and fears
That’s when I see myself sitting on the terrace
Having a barbecue with my parents
I’m so tired; I don’t want to roam
That’s when my heart yearns for home


Whatever strangeness possesses us
in moments of pain
whatever clarity it brings us
it will be in vain
for we learn nothing
in the course of our time
just more confusion
into this head of mine

No longer do I want to think about
leaving behind the things that are loud
no more searching
what I’ll never find
make unconscious my complex mind

When people die

When people die…
When young people die!
Crashing in front of a train
as a way of keeping them sane.
And people always ask
is living too much of a task?

Surprised, if it’s somebody you know!
What happened to make her feel so low?
When ‘PEOPLE’ isn’t just someone in a paper.
A face has turned into vapor!
And it’s not like an accident,
where you know it was meant
it was time for her to go,
even if they all loved her so.

And now I keep wondering,
why didn’t anyone do something?
What a difference it would make
if people weren’t so fake
Why didn’t anybody look deep enough?
Because they all pretend to be so tough!

I didn’t really know her that well,
but this story I will tell.
It doesn’t cost anything to be nice,
so someone doesn’t have to pay that price!

Maybe in the end it all doesn’t matter.
I know I am no better!


Rain erasing the sadness
Videos covering the pain
No end to this madness
and life living in vain

Want my thoughts to be banished
Optimism is my strong side
My friends all seem vanished
I alone rule the night

A stone where my heart was
but my head still held high
I’m ignoring the loss
like the moon in the sky

Rain falling onto the road
not a person in sight
Just me and my load
Forever… Queen of the night

In the dark

In the dark they’re hiding
Waiting for you to go to sleep

In the dark they’re hiding
Silent until you weep

In the dark they finally emerge
And you will never know

I woke up in the dark once
Saw what I did not want to see

I woke up in the dark
And turned on the light


So I went to London. I wanted to become famous. I came pretty close and then I grew up.

I realized thats not who I am. That I rather stay behind the camera. I rather spend my time writing and living in peace.


If there is infinity
How big will I be?

If there is no time
How old will I be?

If there is sanity
What will I feel?

If everyone is equal
How important will I be?

If there is everything
What am I worth?

If there is no one else
How beautiful will I be?

If nothing is real
What will I believe?

When it is all over
What will I be?

If there are no answers

Writing & Photography

© 2024 Gisa Von Kowitz – Alle Rechte vorbehalten